Another absence. Another return

Hello dear reader, we meet again! (I didn’t mean for that to sound as sinister as it does!) I’ve been toying with the idea of coming back to this little blog for over a year now and I kept going back and forth. 

I wanted to come back so desperately but another part of me, the negative side of us that always keeps us from taking the leap we want to take, kept saying “You went back once and you didn’t keep it up, it’s embarrassing if you keep going back and then letting it go again, just face the fact that you can’t do it and quit already.”

I never fully gave in to this voice but it prevented me from coming back for a long time. I thought about just setting up a new blog, starting from scratch - fresh start and all that. I didn’t want to do that either, though, because I love this blog and I love the moments I’ve had interacting with people on here and the other blogs I’ve found because of it (speaking of which, oh how I’ve missed reading them). 

This year though, I made a promise to myself. That I would not let self-doubt keep me from chasing after my goals and dreams. Me returning to this blog is me honoring that promise to myself. I honestly don’t know if I’ll start posting regularly now or come back full force in a little bit or simply disappear again but I know that blogging keeps tugging at my soul and I want to be a part of this world.

 

A lot has happened since I was last here, I’m two years older for one thing and for another, I got married, moved into our very first apartment and successfully passed my doctoral comprehensive exam! All of these experiences have been amazing and my heart is full of gratitude for all of them and more.

I’ve also had some learning moments along the way. In late 2016, I began to have panic attacks and intense anxiety, seemingly out of the blue. I have no history of anxiety so I didn’t really know how to deal with this and in some ways, I’m still learning. I’ve also had moments of what feels like high functioning depression but I’m grateful to say that both are much better now. 

It was definitely challenging at times because it’s kind of a lonely experience. Anxiety can crop up anywhere and ruin perfectly happy moments. However, this is literally nothing compared to what some people have to go through in this world so I’m not complaining and I’ve learned so much because of it. Possibly because of the anxiety, I’ve devoured a ton of personal development books and videos and here I am, chasing some goals in 2018.

 Needless to say, I’ve also accumulated a ridiculous amount of beauty products over the time I’ve been away from this blog and can’t wait to share my thoughts about them and read about what others have been up to.

So, all that to say that I would absolutely love to come back to this blog and revisit all my old favorite fellow bloggers. I don’t know if that will happen tomorrow or a month from now but I do plan to be back and I hope you’ll have me when I do. That’s all I really wanted to say. :-)

x Belle