Things to Remember When You’re Chasing a Goal and Feeling Down

Whew that’s quite a title isn’t it? And what a rather specific one really. A lot of personal development or self help blog posts tend to be a bit more general but I was in a very specific kind of mood today and I wanted to get some thoughts out.

So I figured, why not publish them online? That way, if someone happens to be passing by this corner of the internet while chasing a big goal and they are having a down day, they might find some helpful advice here!

As you might guess, I’m feeling a bit down myself at the moment and I do happen to be chasing a few big goals and well, these are some things I think we should try to remember for moments like this.

Quick disclaimer: these are just my opinions and beliefs, these reminders help me on down days but they do not apply to every situation or every person and I absolutely do not claim that they do. My intention for this is simply to share what helps me in the hopes that it might help someone else going through something similar. Please take whatever resonates and leave the rest. Ok, on to the ramblings!

Don’t Look Up

What I mean by this is, do not look up or forward or wherever it is you look to figure out how much farther you have to go before you achieve your goal. Don’t do it. When you’re feeling down, it’s only going to bring you down further. It’s useless.

Right now, you’re in the trenches so to speak, and you need to keep your head down and focus on putting one foot in front of the other. One step forward, then another and another.

Don’t think of everything you still have to do or how far away your big dream/goal still seems to be. Just focus on pushing forward in whatever small way you can. It all counts, even the baby steps. Just focus on the work you have to do for the day, nothing more.

Do Look Behind You

Usually, dwelling on the past is not really helpful, especially when you’re revisiting mistakes or embarrassing moments. When you’re chasing a big goal though and you feel like you’re losing steam or the workload has you feeling down, stop for a second and look behind you. Look at everything you did manage to do.

All the assignments you did turn in, all the exams you did successfully ace (I use this example for any fellow doctoral students who might be where I am – starting a dissertation and feeling overwhelmed). Look at all your past successes, take a moment to celebrate them and let that strengthen your resolve.

You had moments of doubt before all of those victories, didn’t you? But you succeeded, you did it then and you can do it now. Keep going.

You Are More Than This Goal

As important as this particular goal may be to you, you have to take a step away from it and remember that your self worth is not dictated by this or any other goal.

Goals are wonderful things to have and achieving them feels great but you are so much more than just the sum of your goals. Believe in yourself, you do have what it takes to achieve this but it doesn’t have to define you.

You are a wonderful soul with so much to offer the world and your success or failure with this one goal does not and should not define you as a person. Don’t let it. It’s just one tiny aspect of your whole amazing being. Remember that and don’t let attainment of this one thing consume you.

Look outside your window. Listen to the birds chirping, the cars rushing by, the noise of the world. You’re alive and breathing and on a beautiful little planet, circling the sun. There’s more to your life than this one goal. Take a deep breath and let go of the negativity that’s weighing on your heart.

And that's it! I honestly feel better having written this and I hope and pray, dear reader, that if you were having a down day, then you feel better having read this. Sending all the positive vibes to anyone who needs them today or any day. I'd love to know what your best reminders are for down days! Leave them in the comments below, if you'd like to share.

Image credit: here

Another absence. Another return

Hello dear reader, we meet again! (I didn’t mean for that to sound as sinister as it does!) I’ve been toying with the idea of coming back to this little blog for over a year now and I kept going back and forth. 

I wanted to come back so desperately but another part of me, the negative side of us that always keeps us from taking the leap we want to take, kept saying “You went back once and you didn’t keep it up, it’s embarrassing if you keep going back and then letting it go again, just face the fact that you can’t do it and quit already.”

I never fully gave in to this voice but it prevented me from coming back for a long time. I thought about just setting up a new blog, starting from scratch - fresh start and all that. I didn’t want to do that either, though, because I love this blog and I love the moments I’ve had interacting with people on here and the other blogs I’ve found because of it (speaking of which, oh how I’ve missed reading them). 

This year though, I made a promise to myself. That I would not let self-doubt keep me from chasing after my goals and dreams. Me returning to this blog is me honoring that promise to myself. I honestly don’t know if I’ll start posting regularly now or come back full force in a little bit or simply disappear again but I know that blogging keeps tugging at my soul and I want to be a part of this world.

 

A lot has happened since I was last here, I’m two years older for one thing and for another, I got married, moved into our very first apartment and successfully passed my doctoral comprehensive exam! All of these experiences have been amazing and my heart is full of gratitude for all of them and more.

I’ve also had some learning moments along the way. In late 2016, I began to have panic attacks and intense anxiety, seemingly out of the blue. I have no history of anxiety so I didn’t really know how to deal with this and in some ways, I’m still learning. I’ve also had moments of what feels like high functioning depression but I’m grateful to say that both are much better now. 

It was definitely challenging at times because it’s kind of a lonely experience. Anxiety can crop up anywhere and ruin perfectly happy moments. However, this is literally nothing compared to what some people have to go through in this world so I’m not complaining and I’ve learned so much because of it. Possibly because of the anxiety, I’ve devoured a ton of personal development books and videos and here I am, chasing some goals in 2018.

 Needless to say, I’ve also accumulated a ridiculous amount of beauty products over the time I’ve been away from this blog and can’t wait to share my thoughts about them and read about what others have been up to.

So, all that to say that I would absolutely love to come back to this blog and revisit all my old favorite fellow bloggers. I don’t know if that will happen tomorrow or a month from now but I do plan to be back and I hope you’ll have me when I do. That’s all I really wanted to say. :-)

x Belle