Well hello! Hi there! How are you?!
Wow, it's been a minute and a half since I've posted and I'm quite ashamed of myself, to be honest. I love blogging and this blog is precious to me, it's like my own little corner of the internet where I can just be me, rant about beauty and connect with other like minded beauties/weirdos. I got a bit busy but I'm back and excited to be blogging again!
Before I get back into regularly scheduled posting, I thought I would do a little bit of a life update. Share some bits and bobs, just for fun. I love reading these on other blogs and getting a glimpse into someone's life. I don't know, isn't it fascinating to see what's going on in another humans life? Since we're all playing this game called life together. While there's nothing particularly fascinating going on here, I hope you'll enjoy all the same!
So since I last posted, here is what has happened:
I went back to my homeland (Pakistan) to shop for my wedding dresses. I hadn't been back in almost ten years and I didn't know how I would feel going back. I love living in America and I don't think any other place could ever feel like home to me but where we come from will always be a part of us I suppose, regardless of how we feel about it.
So when I stepped off the plane, I was full of this weird, nervous trepidation. I didn't know how to feel or what to feel. When I walked out of the airport and looked around at all the people standing there, waiting for their loved ones, I didn't feel much of anything. Or perhaps I was feeling so much that my mind was simply shutting it out. I just remember being very blank and then out of the crowd, I saw my aunt coming towards me. This aunt is my father's little sister and she helped raise me, she and I have the same philosophies on a lot of things in life, we're kindred spirits. When I saw her walking towards me, I have no clue what happened. Something broke and I put my arms around her and burst into tears. I still can't explain what exactly happened, I rarely cry and absolutely refuse to do it in front of people! Yet there I was, standing outside a packed airport, with people gawking at me, sobbing into my aunts shoulder. My aunt, my cousins, my grandparents were all there and I couldn't believe it had been ten years since I had seen these beautiful faces. We cried and we laughed and we hugged. It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life.
I had initially scheduled a one week trip but ended up extending it another week. It was an amazing, beautiful, humbling experience. There was so much love, so much positive energy, it was a completely different world. I could write an essay about it but for the sake of time and space, I'll stop here. Perhaps I'll write another blog post about it. Oh and I found my dresses! (pictures to come)
Once I came back, I had a qualifying exam to look forward to for my PhD. In order to continue in the doctoral program, I had to get an 80 or above. If a student scored between 70 and 80, they got another chance at it. 70 and below, you're out, no second chance. Now, when I'm of sound mind, I can tell you that an 80 really shouldn't be so hard to achieve. During exam time though, reason and logic go out the window and you start believing that you're a complete imbecile who doesn't know a thing. I felt both ready to take it and completely unprepared at the same time. It was an eight hour exam and I almost broke down at least three times out of sheer nerves.
The week that followed was worse still because of the waiting. I alternated between telling myself it'd be fine and questioning why on earth I cared so much about a silly exam anyway when I was and am happy, healthy and blessed with so much. In the grand scheme of things, a silly little qualifying exam shouldn't be something that I give so much power over my peace and happiness. This thought would linger for about thirty seconds before the crushing doubt and anxiety would settle back in. Thankfully, joy of joys, I passed! So I'm one year into it with a little over two years to go! (Pray for me)
I am also now only 23 days away from my wedding! Eep! Any of my married readers with wedding/marriage tips, please leave them below! Goodness knows I need them because right now, if anyone asked me for advice I'd tell them to elope. Just elope!
And that's about it, now you're all caught up with my life. I hope I didn't put you to sleep! Tell me what you've been up to, what is your absolute favorite memory from this past month? I want to know!
I'll see you in my next post, my beautiful, amazing reader. :-)
P.S. I decided to finally catch up with the times and make an Instagram! It's llbeautiful.blissll if you'd like to add me. I also made a beauty related instagram with my best friend/sister in law if you'd like to check that out as well (llsparklyglowll). I included some pictures from there below...I have a slight obsession with Chanel, you'll see that a lot on my social media. Now, I'm off! I hope you have a wonderful day/night.